I was voted "Sweetest Guy" in high school. (You might as well not have a penis to win that award.) At the Senior Breakfast, where they handed out awards, I was informed they were running over time, so they decided to cut one of the award presentations--Sweetest Guy. Sure, why not? The sweetest guy won't care; he's sweet (a pushover). It was the only time I got screwed in high school...
I vowed that day to shed my nice guy image and to become successful with women. In college I began my career as a professional comedian. I hit the road full-time after graduation and had some of the wildest, most outrageous experiences with women, most of them hilarious failures early in my career. I quickly learned a lot about women, relationships, and myself. I went from being sweetest guy to a nice guy to good with women to a player to a jerk to an asshole to a good guy, and everything else along the way. I became very successful with women, whether it be in relationships or just for the sex.
I always wanted to share the stories, as well as the advice I learned. On Valentine's Day, 2007, my book of these stories--to your left--was released. It became a big hit, earning more sales and Amazon reviews than books by people far more popular than me, like Felicity Huffman and Jen Schefft. (I suspect because it is very funny and because the advice is very honest without any bs or ulterior marketing motives. Also, it is the only such book geared toward both genders and which doesn't base its advice on manipulation of the opposite sex.)
Next thing I knew, I was invited to write two separate columns for small Chicago magazines. I began getting questions from as far away as Sweden and Nigeria. I quickly realized that people had lots of questions and needed good, accurate advice. Lifetime brought me in as an expert for their site. Enter this column, Lunch is Not a Date.
In 2008, I finally got around to putting the column into a blog format. You're looking at it. I'd like to take it to a syndicated column but thus far there either haven't been any takers or the takers want to turn the column into a lot of bs advice, meant mainly to sell adverstisers' products. Nothing to sell here except the book and a few forthcoming products, like shirts and mugs.
I hope you find my entries helpful and thought provoking. Feel free to participate but don't expect any coddling from me. Remember, I'm not your mom or your best friend; if you're being an idiot, I'm going to call you on it. You've been warned...
